A single mom sets a new standard for what a real “man” is

photoThis isn’t something I wrote. Once you read it, that will be fairly obvious since I am neither single, or a mom. This post was actually written by Tiffany, a girl that I went to school with. She has such great take on life and motherhood that I have republished it here to make it easy to share with other people. Hopefully you will find this just as inspiring as I did.

I’m a single mother, pregnant who will have two boys by two different dads, one who has chosen not to be a part of his son’s life. This is only what society sees though. What is behind the scenes of my “problem” is the greatest privilege of my life. I get to be a mother guiding my sons so that they will be better men than the ones presently in the world.

I love my pain, it motivates me. I understand that having a father in a kids life is the ideal situation, but even ideal is situational. Sometimes, the mother will actually make that boy into more of a man than the father ever could. The child will suffer less for not having the dad in the picture. I am not a victim of my life, I have made decisions that led me to where I am and I don’t look at this is as a fault of anyone but an opportunity just for me. I know the God I serve, I know who I am inside and that what I am capable of is much, but it’s about to become even more.

So next time you see a single mom or pregnant woman with no ring, save your looks of pity. If you are this woman and you feel sorry for yourself change your perspective. The most amazing people who effect the most change in this world don’t come from perfect houses, with perfect lives who fit the mold in society. They come from the struggle, from the ashes of their hopes and dreams burnt to the ground so that they rise from it stronger and more beautiful than anything this world has ever seen. Their faith moves mountains, they are the ones to be feared because they have looked their greatest trials in the eye, facing them head on, day in and day out at times, alone. And yet they remain.

I see how different my situation is from the sought after life of women and I rejoice, because I know like I know I have been chosen to set a new standard. I have horrible days where I cry all day long, but I don’t quit. I get it all out then move on, knowing that even those days are a part of a path that is unique to me, laid out just for me and being sad, breaking down, must happen so that I may shed whatever needs shed. Or see whatever needs seen, so God can continue His work in me. I do not spend my day dreams or prayers on some perfect man who will come rescue me. I pray and dream of the woman God is making me and all the others Jesus will rescue through me.

I see the men my sons will be, how my experiences will shape them and pray for guidance so that every hurdle is used for their shaping as well as mine. I am redefining pregnancy on my own terms. I am more than a single mother, I am a woman who does not need your approval to go my own path. I am a member of humanity who is doing my part to change the world. The men I leave behind will set a new standard for what a good man consists of because God blessed their mother with the unideal situation, allowing herself and them the freedom to be who they are since they never fit the mold anyway. So to all my single mothers, Rejoice!!

None of us are perfect, all we can do is our best. We all have hopes and dreams for our lives and our families. Are you doing all you can for your kids? For your family? Are you being a good example for your children. When the dust settles, will your kids set a new standard for what a good man/woman consists of?

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